I'm Not Funny?

Wait, what?

In my last installment I shared with you Buddy's thoughts on who's funny and who isn't. According to him, I am smart but not funny.

My Mom apparently shares his point of view. She told me the other day that my HubPage articles are fine, but they "aren't funny like you usually are".

Hmmm. Not funny? Challenge accepted.

HA!

Two things to share. Both I found funny.

First, Rea came home with a spiral notebook in her backpack. I had never seen it before. Apparently they have them at school... not sure what the total point is or when they are allowed to draw/write in them. Anyway, I flipped through the book. Honestly I wanted to see how often I appear in it. Yeah, narcissistic, I know. Whatever. I own it.

Did That Just Happen?

We've had one of the busiest holiday breaks ever... I know everyone probably feels that way. But seriously I am hanging on by a thread and LOTS of caffeine.

Rea's birthday is right after Christmas. She turned 7 this year. I cannot believe that. It seems like only yesterday she was displacing my ribs. Because I felt bad for last year's disastrous illnesses and stuff, I gave in and decided to go all out for her birthday this year. She had a birthday party that literally lasted Friday through Monday.  Friday was a sleepover with three friends. Saturday we had lunch at her favorite pizza place, saw a matinée (Into the Woods - AWESOME), finished off the night at dinner with my family. Sunday Rea flew to Orlando with my parents for a shopping trip and back. Monday we hosted a BBQ at our house with Shane's family.

Birthday selfie at school - classroom celebration

Birthday selfie at school - classroom celebration

Monday is the day I'd like to talk about.

Run Fatty Run

Tis the season to be bloated.

Seriously. I am not happy when I look in the mirror. Actually, sometimes the mirror lies to me and makes me think I look good... then I see a photograph and am like "AAHHH! You suck Mirror!"

I have been on a cruel weight yo-yo since I began popping out children. I think that this is true for most Mommies. I don't think I'm special or alone in this horrible cycle. Which on one hand is comforting, on the other I'm still fat and unhappy.

Where Do Babies Come From?

It's one of those conversations that you know, as a parent, you’re going to have to have. Someday, some kid is going to ask. And you have to respond. 

Well for me that day was earlier this week. And the child was Buddy. 

I had been home from the hospital for maybe one day. I was in the kitchen doing the dishes. He was sitting at the kitchen table coloring and telling a crazy story. Every single thing that Buddy does comes complete with an intricate tale. This time was no different. 

“Mom, where do babies come from?”

I freeze. Hmm. How should I respond to my almost 5 year old? 

“Well, Mommies and Daddies make babies.”

Buddy thinks about this for a minute. “That’s crazy. How?”

Moment of truth. 

I say, “Well, that’s how God set it up Bud. I’ll explain the details when you’re older.”

He accepted this. “Ok. Well, I would like a brother. Can you make me one?”

“No, sorry Buddy. Mommies and Daddies have to want to make a baby at the same time... and your Mommy and Daddy do not want that right now.”

Buddy looked a bit disappointed. Then after a minute asked, “Is there like a store we could go to and just buy a baby brother?”

I chuckled and said that sadly there is no such store. 

Oh Asthma...

*written on Dec 8, 2014, on our family website (www.stucrewfun.com)

I'm not sure what people in general really know about it. I feel like people say "Oh yeah, I have that too sometimes." Or "My [insert random relative or friend] has that." Or it's just a blank stare.

I was diagnosed at age 5 with it. I am fuzzy on all of the details, because I was 5 years old. But I do know that my pediatrician sent me and my mom to Gardens Hospital one morning and I was kept for nearly a week. There I had the great pleasure to meet Dr. John P Faraci. He was, for half of my life, the most important doctor. When I was little, my asthma was a direct result of allergies. I am off the scale allergic to dogs and top of the scale allergic to cats. There are other triggers too, but for me, those are the quickest way to land in the ER.

For about 10-15 years, I did allergy shots regularly. I think my ER visits were minimal, but you'd have to ask my mom.

This Kid Totally Kills Me

Buddy has the funniest personality. I can't see into the future, but I would not be the least bit surprised if he is voted Class Clown in high school. The kid is an absolute nut. At our parent/teacher conference this semester, his teachers just laughed and laughed telling us silly Buddy stories. They think he'll be a writer when he grows up... I could see that too. Everything he does is accompanied by a story. The stories are really detailed and hysterical.

This morning, the kids were piled onto my bed. I was trying to get a minute or two of sleep before dragging my exhausted butt out of bed... Then Buddy launched into another anecdote. It was about a new character we had not previously heard of. Here's a snippet of the conversation: