Seriously. I am not happy when I look in the mirror. Actually, sometimes the mirror lies to me and makes me think I look good... then I see a photograph and am like "AAHHH! You suck Mirror!"
I have been on a cruel weight yo-yo since I began popping out children. I think that this is true for most Mommies. I don't think I'm special or alone in this horrible cycle. Which on one hand is comforting, on the other I'm still fat and unhappy.
My real wake-up call was two years ago when on Christmas morning my Grandmother (instead of saying hello) looked at me and said "Oh no, are you pregnant again?!" I stood there shocked for a minute, trying to decide how to respond. My sister started laughing. I said, "No, I'm not. But thanks."
|I can't even bring myself to share a full-body photo from this Christmas. Ugh.|
I guess I should have thanked LaLa. Since she did inspire me to begin running. As we looked at the Christmas pictures later that night I saw the giant cow she was talking about and didn't like it. Something had to change.
We lived with my parents at the time. It became a large family effort to all get in shape. My sister (who lives in Gainesville) had been running for quite some time and had lost a ton of weight and looks amazing. She shared with us the apps she used to get in the habit and train her body.
I went hard and strong for about a year... lost 20 lbs. Looked and felt amazing. Ran a 5K race with my sister and Dad. Then fell off the wagon. Slipped back into my lazy life. I have made millions of excuses not to go out and pound the pavement. But alas, the fat girl is back in pics. I have put all 20lbs back on. While I was laying in the hospital, I was thinking about my life (what else is there to do when you don't have the energy to move?). If I am being totally honest, I was the happiest when I was running on a regular basis. Don't get me wrong, actually running 5 miles sucks. But I felt great, strong, proud and not as stressed.
|Go Jackie! Look how amazing she is! Running her first 10-miler.|
Time to get back into it. I started off slow this week... Walked a few miles a few days this week. It felt good. I don't trust my lungs totally yet to do a full on run. But I think I'll be beginning the 5K app again this week. We shall see how it goes. Wish me luck!
Below is a link to my running article on HubPages. Check it out. Hope you enjoy it.