Happy Birthday to Me!

For as long as I can remember, I have dreaded my 30th birthday. It was always a symbol of being old, way past cool, might as well be dead. Shane turned 30 a few years ago. I threw a great party for him. I mailed out invitations for people to come "mourn the loss of Shane's youth." Everyone came dressed in black. The food was themed. We even served drinks from a coffin. It was awesome.

But the thought of me turning 30 has never really sat well with me. There is no way to pretend to be young. I past the point of really feeling young last year when Shane made me give up my Volvo SUV for a minivan. That was a major blow to my psyche.

Anyway, my amazing husband (and some pretty incredible friends) gave me the coolest, most awesome 30th birthday ever. We flew out to Denver to visit with some friends for a few child-less days.

There are plenty of funny stories from this trip... but honestly, I am too tired to relay them here. And some I don't think I will ever tell. =) But I am willing to share the pictures.

Shane's last healthy meal...

Yay Dan

Arrggg... Gotta love the Yo-hos!

The view from the 26th floor

Not a bad view... 

Steve, don't eat yellow snow!!

Can you believe it??? Snow in June!!

Hiking up to St Mary's Glacier

Dead man on a pig??

Derrick and Shane

Steve and Dan

You must be jokin' with all them stairs... =)

Coors Field... from the living room

Birthday dinner at Texas de Brazil

The picture of how we all felt after 2 hours of stuffing our faces!

Happy birthday to me! (Too full to eat it though)

Not going to explain this one...

Steve and Dan at Snooze (amazing breakfast joint)

... of course by the time we got there it was noonish.

At the airport, ready to see our babies!

Some important shout-outs:

Shane - You rock. I love you more each day (and after 50 yrs together, that adds up to a lot). I am so grateful for this awesome birthday trip. There isn't anyone else I would rather be with on one of the most painful days of my life. =)

Steve, Dan & Derrick - You guys are my hysterical, gas-filled, disgusting brothers.... and it was wonderful (though at times horrifying) to spend the weekend with you. Thanks for making this birthday the best I have ever had.

Jim - Too bad you missed it. I still love you. I know you were there in spirit.

Mom, Dad, Linda & Scott - Thanks for taking such great care of the kids. Shane and I were never worried about whether they were having fun or not. We appreciate your willingness to let us scoot away for the weekend. I love you guys.

Oh Dad...

Well, I should start by congratulating Chris on his graduation from high school. More impressive than that is his acceptance to FSU. I am proud that one of my cousins will be attending my alma mater. =)

Chris actually graduates tomorrow... but his party was today at my Aunt's house. So, we piled into my Swagger Wagon and took off toward Miami. My dad drove. Sis Steph sat in the front passenger seat. Ri and my mom took up the middle section. And Rea and I brought up the rear. I was anticipating a smooth, quiet, uneventful ride. For the most part, I was right. Ri passed out within 30 minutes. Rea made it about 45 minutes into the movie Tangled before she was out like a light. Mom and I watched the movie. Steph was chillin' in the front.

No one was talking.

At all.

Not a peep.

Then, all of a sudden, my dad picks up the pack of gum sitting on my center console and tries to pass it back.

????

Um, I brushed my teeth. And I don't think I momentarily blacked out, shouted that I needed gum, then regained consciousness.

And I am pretty sure the above scenario didn't happen to my mother either.

Anyway, Dad is kind of sensitive sometimes. He really doesn't like to be mentioned in the Blog. He really doesn't like it when we laugh at him. I get that, but he needs to try NOT to make it in the Blog. If he didn't keep giving me great material, he would never be mentioned.

Or, he could bribe me. I accept cash or checks. Just sayin'.


Oh, and I'm not done. Dad almost burned my Aunt A's house down.

The party was great. It was off to a wonderful start. People were milling around, chatting, eating. There was a little man-group in the kitchen (little in number, not stature). My dad was in that group. He happened to be leaning against the stove.

All of a sudden, there was a horrible smell. Like melted plastic.

Because THERE WAS MELTING PLASTIC!

Apparently, Dad's backside turned on one of the stove burners. And the poor carrot cake resting on its plastic tray didn't stand a chance. =(

The funniest part, in my mind, was after Dad (and a few others) made sure nothing was going to burst into flames, Dad turns to me and Steph and says, "Ugh, this is gonna be in the Blog."

And I got pictures!

Thanks Dad! We love you! Steph was right, you are the funniest! =)

Why? Yeah, but why?

So we have reached that step.

Shane and I knew it was going to happen one day. We have been waiting. And all expectations were realized about a month ago. In the early part of this stage, she would only ask 3 or 4 times. But now, it's like a Why marathon. It resembles verbal diarrhea instead of a genuine inquiry. And I think all parents develop some statement to end (or attempt to end) the barrage of questions.

Here is mine.


Rea: Why do we have noses?

Me: So we can smell things.

Rea: Why?

Me: If we couldn't smell, we wouldn't know how pretty flowers smell.

Rea: Why?

Me: We would only be able to look at them.... And they smell great, so with a nose, you can enjoy the smell of a flower.

Rea: Why?

Me: Because that's how God made us.

Rea: Oh. Ok.

End of conversation.


Now, I like this answer because it is precise, true, and it seems sufficient enough for my advanced toddler. However, I have noticed that she uses it now for random things.

Rea plays on the computer every morning. She is a master at navigating the Disney Channel website. So every morning, Rea drinks her chocolatey milk, eats her breakfast and plays on the computer.

One day when she was finished, she asked if she needed to turn it off. I told her the computer will go to sleep after it is left alone for a little while.

About a week after that, she finished up, climbed out of the chair, and said, "the computer will go to sleep soon."

I smiled and said, "Yes. It will."

She said, "Yep, because that's the way God made computers."

I just shook my head and smiled.


But, hands down, my favorite "that's how Gad made it" came last week. We were going to go run some errands. I told Rea to go upstairs and get dressed. She turned around and headed to her room. A few minutes later she came down. She was wearing a tee shirt, panties, and knee-high boots.

Rea: I am ready.

Me: You have to wear pants.

Rea: No. I don't.

Me: Well, technically you could wear a skirt or shorts, but you have to put something on over your panties.

Rea: Why?

Me: Because we don't go out in public without bottoms on.

Rea: Why?

Me: Because we don't want other people to see our underwear.

Rea: But Mom, this is how God made me.

Me: (suppressing a laugh) I don't think God will be upset if you go put shorts on.

Rea: This (moving arms up and down to indicate entire outfit) is how God made me though.

Me:  (close my eyes, fold hands, stand silent for 30 seconds, then look at Rea) I just talked to God, and he said you could wear pants.

Rea: (does almost exact same thing I did) Ok. I will go put on pants.